A day in hell: Zorn the babysitter!
by coumarin-chan
Summary: Nappa is injured from a mission. Who is left to watch over the troublesome severn year old prince? Zorn experiences the worst day in his working career!


**Disclaimer**

I do not own Dragonball Z. Property of Akira Toriyama and all that. Don't sue me.

**

* * *

**

**A day in hell: Zorn the babysitter.**

* * *

It was early. Almost unbearably early, however the Saiyan known as Zorn trudged toward the throne room. He couldn't go against King's orders, but he was a little peeved. His shift wasn't until after lunch anyway!

While letting out a sigh, Zorn pushed the doors to the great throne room open, immediately spotting King Vegeta sitting on the large throne at the other end. He proceeded down the aisle and then bowed to one knee. "Yes my King?"

"You should know that I have a very important meeting with the ambassador of Ao'ntsuke today. My son will be waking shortly. It's your duty to make sure the prince gets fed at the right times, bathed and to his classes. You are relieved of your duties once I return from the meeting." The king finished up his little speech, watching Zorn's reaction.

"B-But sire! What of Elite Saiyan Nappa? I thought that was his job!" Zorn didn't normally protest, but being in charge of the most obnoxious saiyan child on the planet was worse than fighting a losing battle.

"Nappa was injured having returned from his last mission. He's still healing, thus I put my trust in you, Zorn"

Zorn sighed in defeat "Yes Sire. I will do my best."

King Vegeta stood, sweeping past Zorn. "There is a list waiting on my son's door. It gives you the times, what needs to be done and where the prince needs to be. Make sure everything gets done." The king paused, stroking his beard thoughtfully "Oh and Zorn, don't let him interrupt the meeting. I don't want to hear a single squeak out of him until tomorrow."

"Of course Sire." Zorn almost started to cry. Everyone knew exactly how troublesome the young Prince Vegeta could be. This would probably be the hardest challenge in his career… and he'd be lucky to get out of it in one piece.

"Good luck Zorn." The King also knew how rowdy his son could be. No one else in the castle would even stand a chance of taking care of the brat. Without another thought, he stalked out of the room, heading to landing bay. He of course had to greet the ambassador and give a good impression at the same time.

_**

* * *

**_

_**A little later, Prince Vegeta's bedroom**_

* * *

"Ok… first task… is to dress the prince?" Zorn shook his head a bit, knocking politely on the large oak door before entering. "Prince Vegeta?" Zorn entered the large suite where the Prince stayed. Much to his surprise… The bed was empty and made very neatly, there was no sound coming from the bathroom either. "Prince Vegeta where are you?" Zorn began to get nervous, the hairs on his neck starting to rise. Something was very wrong here, he had a distinct feeling that he was in a spot of bother. The poor saiyan's suspicions were confirmed ten seconds later. 

_**SPLOSH!**_

Something rubbery made contact with Zorn's head, exploding after impact. Ice cold water dripped down the adult saiyan's neck that caused him to shiver. A light, muffled laughter came from behind the door, where the seven year old Prince Vegeta stood. The little saiyan prince was obviously trying to cover up his laughter, having caught Zorn completely off guard. Zorn's tail started to twitch irritably.

"Good morning Prince Vegeta."

"'Morning Zorn no baka." Vegeta replied, giggling behind a gloved hand.

Zorn pulled a double take at the little Prince. For some reason, he chibi Saiyan wore his gloves to bed with him… strange. He glanced to one of the chairs where the uniform for the short prince was laid out waiting.

"It's time for you to get dressed. " Zorn started quietly, reaching for a small navy body suit. He turned to face the smaller saiyan, met with the image of the little prince, just about ready to start playing up. The chibi's tail was puffed out and lashing.

"You'll have to catch me first!"

"WAIT!"

It was too late. The young prince had already taken off down the main corridor as fast as his chibi legs could go… and that was pretty fast.

"This is going to be a long day…." Zorn groaned as he picked up the clothes then began to race down the corridors after the young Prince.

* * *

_**Ten Minutes later….**_

* * *

Commander Kale was casually strutting down the hallway when a small whirlwind got caught in his legs. In the blink of an eye, a small saiyan pileup blocked the hallway. Kale managed to pull his upper body free from the small prince's with a frown. 

"Prince Vegeta. I see you're up bright and early…"

"PRINCE VEGETA!"

"Uh oh!" The chibi squeaked hopping to his feet. His chubby legs were racing a mile a minute but… he didn't feel like he was going anywhere "?" Vegeta looked down, only to see the floor a lot further down than it was supposed to be.

"Now Prince Vegeta… You can't be walking about the palace like that." Zorn almost smirked, holding the chibi up by the back of his boxers. Zorn and Prince Vegeta then disappeared into a dust cloud, the occasional hand, leg or tail popping out.

Kale sweatdropped at the scene, hovering around the dust cloud, only to have a small fist spring out of the cloud, giving the commander a bloody nose "Owww… I bid you good day my Prince." The saiyan muttered, clutching the bleeding and probably broken nose while walking off.

When the dust finally cleared, a sweatdropping Vegeta dangled from Zorn's grasp by the end of his cape, now immaculately dressed to face the day ahead.

* * *

_**Breakfast…**_

* * *

Breakfast. Mealtimes were the only times when you could get the young Prince to cooperate with you willingly. Every saiyan had some kind of weakness for food, the same went for Vegeta. Unfortunately his weakness was the irresistible urge to fling sticky hot oat cereal at who ever was babysitting him. The usual candidate for this would be Nappa, however, as we all know, Nappa is healing. 

Zorn did not have a clue until it hit him.

'It' being a warm globule of sickeningly sweet smelling cereal.

The warm substance stuck to his hair, while the excess dribbled down the side of his head, collecting in his ear while some fell between his armour and skin. The elder saiyan twitched, feeling the cereal start to harden at an impossible rate. A vein bulged on his forehead as he stood, towering over the chibi.

"Was that COMPLETELY necessary Prince Vegeta?" He said, his bottom right eyelid twitching, along with his right arm.

"Of course!" The chibi grinned, completely oblivious to Zorn's anger. He then set about targeting other Saiyan guards – who gave out squeals of disgust when the cooling cereal met its target. "Mwaahaaahaahaaahaaa!"

A young Raditz sweatdropped in the background, quickly leaving with his father before he became infected by royal insanity.

* * *

_**Study/Schooling time…**_

* * *

"Zzzzzzzz…." A clean Zorn leaned against the wall as he snored, while standing upright. The teacher hired to help Prince Vegeta in his studies had put him to sleep within minutes seen as he hadn't gotten his required amount of sleep to function at his best. 

Vegeta was bored. This is always a very bad thing with any child of his age. He'd long tuned out the droning of his teacher… something about the politics and ethics to do with his race and interactions with other planets. Currently his intelligence was being tested by the new design of the famous paper aeroplane. He'd equipped the little vessel with a sharp tip. While the teacher's back was turned, he launched the aeroplane into the air using his Ki to control its flight.

"Prince Vegeta!" A ridiculously sized metal ruler slammed down onto the oak desk, causing a crack to appear. Seconds later, the mentioned piece of furniture fell to the floor in two halves, causing both Saiyans to sweatdrop.

"Next time you'll remember to pa—urp!"

_**THUD!**_

The body of the teacher hit the floor in a dead- faint. The needle- point in the newly crafted paper aeroplane had imbedded itself neatly into the back of the older saiyan's neck, somehow managing to sever the spinal cord. Vegeta perked a brow, gently nudging the body with his foot.

"Well that was almost too convenient…" The chibi muttered, waddling toward the slumbering saiyan

"Zzzzzzz…..Ungh?" Zorn grumbled slightly peering down at the prince.

"Mr.Zorn… I think he's dead."

"WHAT!" His eyes bugged out as he zipped over to the fallen body, prodding it with a gloved finger. No response. He checked the carotid artery only to find no pulse. "Well… what do you know… he IS dead."

At that precise moment, a medical team dashed into the room, completely overreacting to the situation in loud voices, declaring the saiyan dead. Seconds later they left the room with a body bag in tow. Vegeta stared at this, slightly freaked out "It must be something about you." He turned to Zorn "Everything is efficiently being seen to… It's … freaky."

Zorn just sweatdropped "I guess that means you get to have lunch early."

The chibi grinned at him in delight, his little tail wagging in the air

"I'm never doing this again as long as I live…" He muttered to himself.

* * *

_**Lunchtime...**_

* * *

Things had run smoothly since they'd left the study. Generally the little prince had been pretty hungry, putting away several courses of lunch before starting on dessert. Dessert was trifle and everyone loves trifle, even Saiyans. 

Zorn reclined in his chair opposite the prince, his hand splayed on his slightly enlarged stomach from the meal he'd eaten. Other than a group of rowdy young guards sitting at the table behind them, it had been quite enjoyable. Vegeta happily tucked into the generous portion of trifle oblivious to anyone around him; purring gently as he scarfed down the treat.

A white and red blob hurtled through the air, inches past Zorn's upturned nose. He went momentarily cross – eyes trying to figure out what horrible substance he'd just avoided coming into contact with, only to hear a splat only feet away from his position.

"…." Vegeta started to frown as the creamy and gelatinous gloop slowly dripped down his forehead and onto his royal Saiyan armour.

A young warrior called Raditz slowly walked past with his own dessert, only to be snagged by the hair. Glancing behind him, he spotted the Prince now on top of the table, a large vein bulging on his forehead. The entire cafeteria went silent.

"This…means… WARRRRRRRR!" Vegeta bellowed out a war- cry, instantly setting all the saiyans in the cafeteria off in an all- out trifle throwing contest. Raditz sweatdropped as he dodged the oncoming wave of trifle projectiles, occasionally snapping up edible- sized pieces in content.

5 Minutes later

The entire canteen was destroyed – or near enough. Food caked the floor and walls. Most of the furniture was either cracked or broken in half while every saiyan was covered head to foot in trifle except two.

Prince Vegeta and Raditz stood in the centre of it all, completely spotless. At some point in the fight, Vegeta had managed to find a clean napkin to clean himself off with. The two kids grinned at each other before high fiving with both hands, declaring their victory over the saiyan guards.

Bardock happily entered the cafeteria looking forward to a good meal after vigorous training. He took one step into the room only to slide halfway across the room on his backside having slipped on the remains of the Trifle war. He was promptly covered in a layer of the dessert, glaring up at his grinning offspring. Raditz peered down at his father with a sheepish grin on his face only to have Vegeta pop his head over the older saiyans shoulder, smirking down at the lower classed warrior.

Bardock twitched slightly "I'm not even going to ask…"

* * *

_**Training Session…**_

* * *

"Haiyah!" chibi Vegeta launched himself across the training room, landing a roundhouse kick to the head of a saibaman. The impact immediately decapitated the small green man, the head rolling across the floor while the body slumped where it stood. The prince put a foot on its body declaring victory. "Bwaahaahaahaahaaaa!" 

"Well, he's certainly well versed in the evil laugh department." Zorn commented dryly as he watched the monitor. At least HE wasn't in there taking the beating of a lifetime. Prince Vegeta was very strong for his age; he'd shown that by easily defeating eight saibamen as if it was nothing. Zorn shook himself out of his musings, only to realise he'd goofed off. The training chamber was now empty and Vegeta was nowhere in sight.

"Oh great, now where could he have gone THIS time?" He quickly turned on his scouter; quickly following the large reading outside… just dreading what might be in store for him.

* * *

_**Outside...**_

* * *

"Bwaahaaahahaahaaaa!" Vegeta launched another roll of Kittensoft loo roll up into the air, causing it to unravel. He put a bit of Ki into the roll, controlling its movements over the castle. "Throw me some more Raditz!" He bellowed at the elder Saiyan. 

"Whatever you say Vegeta…" he grumbled. He tossed two more Saiyan- sized loo rolls to the chibi. The castle by now was covered in streamers of white. The maned saiyan sweatdropped, wondering how he'd managed to get caught up in the Prince's evil schemes twice in one day.

Zorn rounded the corner to the courtyard then promptly fell over. Bardock came up behind the fallen saiyan, twitching violently "The King is going to go ape if he sees this…" The low class warrior muttered. Zorn slowly got to his feet, nursing a bump on the side of his head. He stared up at the castle while breaking out into a cold sweat. A stray piece of loo roll landed on his face.

"This is just NOT my day." He whined, pulling off the offensive object. He paused to glare at the two chibi saiyans. Or he would have if they hadn't already vanished into thin air. "I swear I'm not doing this ever again." He grabbed Bardock by the back of his armour and flew up to the roof of the castle.

"This may take a while…"

* * *

_**Dinner…**_

* * *

"I can't believe you dragged me into that." Bardock muttered to Zorn. Both adult saiyans were in the company of the mischievous duo, Raditz and Vegeta. Zorn glanced down to his plate, only to find a portion of meat missing. 

"?" Being a saiyan, he may have forgotten that he ate it in the first place. He glanced to Bardock with a shrug "You were the only other witness. King Vegeta would have had our heads had he seen the mess that they left on the roof." Zorn looked down at his plate again, only to find it missing.

"!"

Zorn glanced over to the two younger Saiyans only to find them acting perfectly normal… but with larger portions of food on their plates than they began with. Vegeta glanced up at Zorn, smiling 'cutely'. **(A/N: If that's even POSSIBLE for Vegeta at any age) **Zorn just shook his head, excusing himself to collect another serving of food.

Raditz stared at the little prince; a brow lifted "I swear I'm going to avoid you until you've grown up…" He grumbled cleaning off his plate in seconds. Bardock, Vegeta and Zorn, who had just returned to the table, stared at him in shock. He started to sweat under the gazes "What? I didn't do anything bad this time!" Bardock lifted a brow at his son

"I don't think I've even seen an adult saiyan put away that much food so quickly."

Raditz sweatdropped "I was hungry?" he answered lamely

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't see that happen" Bardock mumbled.

* * *

_**Bath time! **_

* * *

"Prince Vegeta come back here this instant!" Zorn chased the naked Prince through the hallways of the castle. The young prince was surprisingly fast on his short legs, giving Zorn a hard time. The chibi absolutely hated bath time and did everything in his power to escape. His large babysitter was chasing him with a towel for quite some time now. He made a break for freedom, ducking into a room to his left. 

Zorn dashed into the room hot on the chibi's heels. He chased Vegeta around the table a few times, so focussed on his task that he didn't notice King Vegeta and the Ao'ntsukian ambassador. He finally pounced on the child, wrapping up the flailing limbs with the towel to avoid another black eye. Zorn promptly jogged out of the room, leaving the King and the ambassador bewildered.

"Is your son always like that?" The ambassador stared at the door with wide eyes.

"Unfortunately at bath time he is… though I've never seen Zorn act like that before." King Vegeta replied, also a little freaked out at the random appearance of his naked son and advisor.

Meanwhile… Zorn had managed to successfully get the grumpy Prince into the bath and was currently scrubbing the chibi's hair. He ducked Vegeta's head and scrubbed vigorously at the young prince's scalp, efficiently removing all the shampoo in seconds. A frazzled tail stuck up above the water, lashing through the air like a whip. Following suit a spluttering Vegeta sat up, shaking his head violently, his hair instantly sprang back up into its natural flame shape, only squeaky clean.

"Blah!" The chibi growled angrily, pulling the plug.

"Come on, it wasn't that bad Prince Vegeta. At least it was over with fast enough." Zorn wrapped a towel around the chibi, gently drying him off.

Half an hour later…

Vegeta was curled up in bed, having gotten over his little sulk about having his bath. Zorn stood next to the bed, tiredly waiting for the prince to fall asleep. It had been worse than helping to drill the guards! He was sleepy, and more than a little grumpy.

It had been a day in hell. He didn't want to repeat it any time soon.

"Nappa always sits with me until I go to sleep." A small sulking voice cut through the air, its owner glaring at the larger saiyan. Zorn let out a sigh, plopping himself onto the bed next to the Prince.

"Alright, just go to sleep already." Zorn grumbled, letting out a yawn.

* * *

_**Later…**_

* * *

Prince Vegeta sat up with a grin. He was curled up to Zorn's side who had fallen asleep not long after him. However the troublesome prince was now awake and had no one to stop him. A smirk of pure wickedness crossed the chibi's face as he pulled out a felt –tip pen. He drew glasses, a moustache and a beard on the sleeping saiyan, before leaving a scribble on the large saiyans armour showing that "Vegeta was here"

* * *

**_The Next Morning…_**

* * *

King Vegeta strode confidently into his Son's living quarters… only to fall over in shock. He quickly stood up, poking the large sleeping saiyan in the side. Zorn slowly opened his eyes, blinking tiredly at the King. It took a few seconds for him to realise that he was not in his own bed… and that the King was looking at him strangely. 

"Zorn… what do you think you're doing?" The King asked.

"Umm…" Zorn thought back to the previous night with a foggy mind "Prince Vegeta said that Nappa sat with him until he went to sleep… so I did and I guess I must have fallen asleep." He rambled, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Anyway you're relieved of your duties, Nappa will be along shortly." The King then started to giggle hysterically. Zorn lifted a brow, now getting creeped out at his Kings behaviour.

"Sire?"

"Zorn, I suggest you go and have a good scrub before reporting back to duty." He whipped out a mirror from thin air, holding it up for Zorn to see his reflection.

"IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" A high pitched squeal rattled the walls of the large palace.

And so began another "normal" day at the home of the royal family.

* * *

_**END**_

* * *

Well there you have it. Did you like it? Hate it? Or just pain weirded out by it? Mwaahaahaaa! 


End file.
